Do you ever look back at your life and wish you could just redo a lot of the stupid decisions you’ve made? Do you have any regrets? Any missed chances? Any missed opportunities? I do, or rather, I’ve had. There was a certain time in my life when I realized the gravity of my past decisions and actions, and truthfully, it sucked. I hurt people. My character was flawed in every single way. My mind kept telling me everything was okay, so I continued on. It was a dark time. Sad part was I had no idea what to do or where to go. I disregarded my friends and family. Work was dead. God was not a factor. A life with no meaning, direction, value, and purpose. In short, I was all dried up and empty. I consider it to be one of the lowest times in my life. It came to a point when I would look up and question the existence of God. Why was I even here? Why was I created? What is my true destiny?
But beyond the hysteria and heartbreak, a small spark of hope emerged. It seemed so harmless and minor. It came out of nowhere with no warning whatsoever. And though the spark decided to reveal itself at that time of depression, for some peculiar reason, I was not afraid, I was fearless. Anxiety filled my veins. I began feeling like a child entering a candy store for the first time. A small symptom of life began to surface and the best part is that it never looked back. This “hope” came in a figure I least expected. A creation I tried to avoid. It came in a form of a woman…an extraordinary woman...a beautiful woman. This woman wasn’t normal. There was something about her that was different. I couldn’t figure it out. I found myself drawn to everything about her. The way she smiled, smelled, dressed, spoke, laughed, and just so many other small and big things, including her flaws. Each note sent out a wave of hope. A wave that soon turned into peace then later on turned into happiness. I was now happy. She came out of nowhere. Life has never been the same. Boundless energy. You wake up everyday knowing that it’s already going to be a good day. The best part of it all is that now, God is a factor. Love is a commitment, a big word. Usually it isn’t used by a lot of people. People actually fear it. I don’t. My love has grown, and young as I am, I know what I’m talking about. I am now ready to face the world’s ugliness knowing that she’s near. She will open up the floodgates of uncontrollable happiness and joy. I am now back in God’s arms and my relationships with my friends and family are stronger than ever. Know that I am truly yours. I am no longer afraid. You are a blessing. My treasure. My love. My miracle. My bestfriend.
Written for whoever will come my way. This is for you, whoever you may be, I will love you until my final day.
